SOLUTION:

CALM THE FUCK DOWN.

smityhasnwrth43 (10:43:05 PM): I just have faith that things will work out somehow.

smityhasnwrth43 (10:43:11 PM): They always have.

the FUTURE, FUTURE, FUTURE has been on my mind. but it's like what alan said, I just need to have faith that all will fall into place but at the same time, not sacrifice myself in the process of reaching my goals. the future scares me the shit out of me, but I suppose that the beauty in that is not knowing exactly what to expect. and alan, HONEST TO GOD, you have no idea how much you do for me and how grateful I am to have you as a friend. you save me from myself and really, that's more than I can even do.

oh, and I thought this was insightful =)

smityhasnwrth43 (10:59:41 PM): Ohh this was an interesting korean poem my friend read to us.

smityhasnwrth43 (11:00:05 PM): Basically, these teenage girls were under a fruit tree stressing about the future and stuff like who they will marry.

smityhasnwrth43 (11:00:16 PM): Then the fruit that is eavesdropping thinks to itselg

smityhasnwrth43 (11:00:18 PM): itself

smityhasnwrth43 (11:00:42 PM): I son't know who will pick me or eat me, but I keep growing anyway. Why are these girls afraid to grow up?

kudos to the wise korean man.